11 Strategies People Use to Hide Infidelity

Research paints a chillingly accurate picture of a common situation.

Photo by Ron Lach from Pexels

Key points

• Infidelity is common, with pros and cons from an evolutionary perspective.
• While infidelity can lead to divorce or breakup, infidelity is also common in many long-term relationships that do not end.
• Research identifies 53 specific ways people try to conceal infidelity, which group into 11 major strategies.
• The balance between hiding and detecting infidelity creates an “arms race” that offers no winning advantage.

There is considerable research on the advantages and disadvantages of being unfaithful, on why people might go outside the relationship (there are essentially 10 reasons), on how partners try to catch infidelity [1], and even on the strategies people already in committed relationships use to attract mates on the side [2], but to date no research has investigated the approaches people use to hide infidelity.

In a recent paper in the journal Personality and Individual Differences (2022), evolutionary psychologist Menelaos Apostolou notes that long-term mating has many benefits when it comes to raising children, health and well-being, and resource pooling. But infidelity allows…