Image for post
Image for post
Grant H. Brenner

3 Ways Emotionally Powerful People Succeed in 2019

Ringing ahead

2019 is a year before 2020, and you can bet it will be a doozy. They say that hindsight is 2020, but my wish for the New Year is for 2020 foresight.

What else?

When we are comfortable with our own self-efficacy, and can sustain it ourselves for a period of time because we have internalized a good-enough caregiver part of ourselves, and we can deal with whatever our own vulnerability can throw at us, we become amazing listeners. Not only can we tolerate having less air time, we may even come to feel that speaking with urgency is less effective than showing what we think through our actions as well as our words. It takes time to know what we really think and feel. Meaning grows at its own pace sometimes, and emotions in particular often come out in repeating sequences which require time to grasp as they go by so fast we may miss the evolution in our own minds.

Compassionate listening

We become amazing listeners because we can empathize. Our own egos are off to the side, delighted to be learning so much from the other person. It’s a win-win in this state of mind, mutual, reciprocal. Balanced give-and-take. However, we are not so empathetic that we let ourselves get used up, chewed up, burned out or worse. Cultivating compassion, the urge to act to alleviate suffering, applies to oneself and others and protects from the ill-effects of over-identification, the hazards of compulsive caregiving, and the risk of losing connection with one’s own center by being sucked into the other person’s world.

Written by

Psychiatrist, Psychoanalyst, Entrepreneur, Writer, Speaker, Advocate

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store