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7 Signs You May Be Oblivious to Your Perfectionism

Grant H Brenner MD DFAPA
7 min readSep 10, 2020

“Many people think of perfectionism as striving to be your best, but it is not about self-improvement; it’s about earning approval and acceptance.”

-Brené Brown

As discussed in a prior piece on the potential problems perfectionism causes in close personal relationships, perfectionism is:

“A personality trait characterized by efforts to be flawless and free from error, unrealistically high standards, and excessively critical attitudes, about oneself and others. In spite of high ideals and expectations, perfectionism can be fundamentally negative and pessimistic.”

There is overlap with a psychiatric condition called “Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder” (OCPD). When folks say “He’s so OCD,” they are usually talking about OCPD, not Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, a condition in which people have intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviors they are unable to control. It’s exhausting for all. Living and working with very perfectionistic people requires patience and compassion all around.

While this piece is not about how people become perfectionistic, perfectionism often has its origins in negative childhood experiences (interacting with inherited biological traits) where such tendencies developed as a reaction against feeling out of control with caregivers who were incompetent, absent and often abusive.

OCD vs. OCPD

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Grant H Brenner MD DFAPA
Grant H Brenner MD DFAPA

Written by Grant H Brenner MD DFAPA

Psychiatrist, Psychoanalyst, Entrepreneur, Writer, Speaker, Disaster Responder, Advocate, Photographer

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