In Part 1 of this two-part post, we looked at how psychoanalyst Harold Searles thought about how we drive each other crazy. On one hand, he describes many pathological reasons for doing so, in his focus on maladaptive parental and family dynamics. He notes there are other reasons people have difficulty maintaining a grip on reality and our own emotional states than how we are raised, but his focus is on developmental factors and how they play out in adulthood, and particularly in therapy. In this follow-up piece, we review the reasons why — the motivations for — driving the…
Harold Searles was a brilliant, controversial psychoanalyst who worked with patients at Chestnut Lodge for over 15 years. Chestnut Lodge, a well-known sanatorium in Rockville, Maryland where patients with chronic psychiatric illnesses lived and received intensive treatment, ended its over century-long life, metamorphosing from boarding house to hotel, asylum, and finally proposed high-end condos before succumbing to a fire of unknown origin in 2009.
Many of the patients with whom Dr. Searles worked had been diagnosed with schizophrenia in the 1950s and 60s. While some may have met modern criteria for a psychotic illness, it is likely that a large…
There’s no question that our culture is — ahem — still evolving when it comes to sexuality. Male heterosexual desire is still highlighted more…
Is monogamy synonymous with boring sex, or do vibrant long-term committed relationships open the door to satisfying sexuality? Expert consensus provides an answer: it depends. It depends on the quality of the relationship…
According to researchers Reischer, Roth, Villarreal, and McAdams (2020) in the Journal of Personality, self-transcendence “is the phenomenon of experiencing one’s self as expanding both backward and forward in time; a feeling of connectedness to all of humanity, the earth, and the cosmos; and a turn toward existential concerns such as the meaning of life and future death.”
They note further that self-transcendence is connected with positive outcomes: greater well-being, positive emotions, optimism, higher self-esteem, greater self-integration, and enhanced life purpose, and with lower depression and neuroticism.
Study authors describe that self-transcendence is related to important personal development concepts, including…
Perfectionism is defined as a personality trait characterized by efforts toward and desires for flawlessness. A perfectionist sets unrealistically high standards for oneself, others, or both. Although in some cases, perfectionism drives performance, it can often undermine achievement of goals when people succumb to highly critical attitudes.[1]
Smith and colleagues (2021) consolidated a multitude of studies on perfectionistic concerns and perfectionistic strivings to determine in what way perfectionism and depression feed off of each other. Perfectionistic concerns center on the belief that perfection is required of oneself, shading into obsession.
Those with high perfection concerns over react to errors, often…
Chronic pain, authors (Graziosi et al., 2021) note in their recent study in The Journal of Positive Psychology, takes a massive toll on people and healthcare systems. Unlike acute pain, which typically signals the need for attention to an immediate concern, chronic pain does not necessarily point to an obvious conventional medical problem and is often too easily dismissed.
Chronic pain is quite real, nonetheless, even when the causes may be elusive or intangible. Neuroimaging of fibromyalgia (Richard, et al., …
Key Takeaway: The ability to imagine another’s state of mind, control one’s emotions, avoid assuming a hostile or hopeless mindset, and maintain a steady, authoritative parenting style will help anyone parent better, even those who have survived their own difficult childhood.
And you only need to “get it right” about 70 percent of the time.
Does this sound familiar?
You ask your kid(s) to stop playing on the computer in 15 minutes because it’s almost dinner. At the appointed time, you notice he’s still playing, and ask him to stop. He “just wants to finish the round.” Just a minute…
“[F]or a living creature to have evolved rich capabilities of perception and categorization but to be constitutionally incapable of focusing any of that apparatus onto itself would be highly anomalous. Its selective neglect would be pathological, and would threaten its survival” — I Am A Strange Loop, Douglas Hofstadter
The most captivating psych topics share core feature which we are yet beginning to understand. What overlaps are there among personality difficulties, relationship challenges, addictions and compulsions, body issues, self-care, personal development, trauma, resilience, depression, and anxiety?
Underlying psychological factors are often easier to discern in others than oneself, easier to…
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see yourself close to how others see you, do you devalue yourself, or do you inflate your attributes more than is healthy?
Authors of the study described below in the journal Personality and Individual Differences (2021) review the literature on narcissism and self-image. Narcissistic people rate themselves as more attractive than others. Not only that, but narcissistic people enjoy looking at themselves, experiencing self-confidence and self-admiration.
In spite of this pleasure in self-gaze, there is trouble below the surface. Brain scans of narcissistic people looking at their own…
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