Part 2 in a review of psychoanalytic work on how we do what we do to each other.
In Part 1 of this two-part post, we looked at how psychoanalyst Harold Searles thought about how we drive each other crazy. On one hand, he describes many pathological reasons for doing so, in his focus on maladaptive parental and family dynamics. He notes there are other reasons people have difficulty maintaining a grip on reality and our own emotional states than how we are raised, but his focus is on developmental factors and how they play out in adulthood, and particularly in therapy. In this follow-up piece, we review the reasons why — the motivations for — driving the…
Part 1: A review of psychoanalytic work on how we do what we do to each other.
Harold Searles was a brilliant, controversial psychoanalyst who worked with patients at Chestnut Lodge for over 15 years. Chestnut Lodge, a well-known sanatorium in Rockville, Maryland where patients with chronic psychiatric illnesses lived and received intensive treatment, ended its over century-long life, metamorphosing from boarding house to hotel, asylum, and finally proposed high-end condos before succumbing to a fire of unknown origin in 2009.
Many of the patients with whom Dr. Searles worked had been diagnosed with schizophrenia in the 1950s and 60s. While some may have met modern criteria for a psychotic illness, it is likely that a large…
Provocative new research opens up dialogue about less familiar aspects of male desire and need to be wanted.
- Interviews with heterosexual men in relationships revealed that feeling desired was “very important” to the vast majority.
- Only 12 percent of men reported that their partners made them feel as sexually desired as they wanted to feel.
- Expressions of desire include compliments, dirty talk, and communicating about sex, flirting, romantic touch, and initiating sex.
- Sexual scripts and stereotypes can be limiting. Recognizing that men and women both want to feel desired may contribute to healthier relationships.
There’s no question that our culture is — ahem — still evolving when it comes to sexuality. Male heterosexual desire is still highlighted more…
New research looks at core drivers of sexual dissatisfaction and enjoyment.
- “Good-enough sex” does not have to be perfect, but requires collaboration from each partner.
- Sexual boredom is associated with reduced overall well-being, and also with personality factors such as narcissism (which correlates with overall proneness to boredom) and with other risky behaviors.
- Men generally report greater sexual boredom than do women.
- The widely-held assumption that sexual satisfaction will decline can undermine good sex, even for long-partnered couples.
Is monogamy synonymous with boring sex, or do vibrant long-term committed relationships open the door to satisfying sexuality? Expert consensus provides an answer: it depends. It depends on the quality of the relationship…
Formal analysis of life narratives reveals what moves us beyond ourselves.
According to researchers Reischer, Roth, Villarreal, and McAdams (2020) in the Journal of Personality, self-transcendence “is the phenomenon of experiencing one’s self as expanding both backward and forward in time; a feeling of connectedness to all of humanity, the earth, and the cosmos; and a turn toward existential concerns such as the meaning of life and future death.”
They note further that self-transcendence is connected with positive outcomes: greater well-being, positive emotions, optimism, higher self-esteem, greater self-integration, and enhanced life purpose, and with lower depression and neuroticism.
Study authors describe that self-transcendence is related to important personal development concepts, including…
New research shows where recovery from depression and perfectionism may be helped by targeting the connections between them.
Perfectionism is defined as a personality trait characterized by efforts toward and desires for flawlessness. A perfectionist sets unrealistically high standards for oneself, others, or both. Although in some cases, perfectionism drives performance, it can often undermine achievement of goals when people succumb to highly critical attitudes.[1]
Types of perfectionism
Smith and colleagues (2021) consolidated a multitude of studies on perfectionistic concerns and perfectionistic strivings to determine in what way perfectionism and depression feed off of each other. Perfectionistic concerns center on the belief that perfection is required of oneself, shading into obsession.
Those with high perfection concerns over react to errors, often…
New research looks at how a surprisingly useful simple daily practice can not only alleviate pain and improve function but also give people a greater sense of control over pain.
Chronic pain, authors (Graziosi et al., 2021) note in their recent study in The Journal of Positive Psychology, takes a massive toll on people and healthcare systems. Unlike acute pain, which typically signals the need for attention to an immediate concern, chronic pain does not necessarily point to an obvious conventional medical problem and is often too easily dismissed.
Chronic pain is quite real, nonetheless, even when the causes may be elusive or intangible. Neuroimaging of fibromyalgia (Richard, et al., …
Research on how trauma is transmitted identifies key behaviors parents can fix
Key Takeaway: The ability to imagine another’s state of mind, control one’s emotions, avoid assuming a hostile or hopeless mindset, and maintain a steady, authoritative parenting style will help anyone parent better, even those who have survived their own difficult childhood.
And you only need to “get it right” about 70 percent of the time.
Does this sound familiar?
You ask your kid(s) to stop playing on the computer in 15 minutes because it’s almost dinner. At the appointed time, you notice he’s still playing, and ask him to stop. He “just wants to finish the round.” Just a minute…
Research and theory are revealing factors that can either hold us back or when harnessed lead us toward authenticity and self-realization.
“[F]or a living creature to have evolved rich capabilities of perception and categorization but to be constitutionally incapable of focusing any of that apparatus onto itself would be highly anomalous. Its selective neglect would be pathological, and would threaten its survival” — I Am A Strange Loop, Douglas Hofstadter
The most captivating psych topics share core feature which we are yet beginning to understand. What overlaps are there among personality difficulties, relationship challenges, addictions and compulsions, body issues, self-care, personal development, trauma, resilience, depression, and anxiety?
Underlying psychological factors are often easier to discern in others than oneself, easier to…
Clever research reveals how and why narcissistic people over-value self-image.
When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Do you see yourself close to how others see you, do you devalue yourself, or do you inflate your attributes more than is healthy?
Mirror mirror on the wall, am I the fairest one of all?
Authors of the study described below in the journal Personality and Individual Differences (2021) review the literature on narcissism and self-image. Narcissistic people rate themselves as more attractive than others. Not only that, but narcissistic people enjoy looking at themselves, experiencing self-confidence and self-admiration.
In spite of this pleasure in self-gaze, there is trouble below the surface. Brain scans of narcissistic people looking at their own…
Grant H Brenner
Psychiatrist, Psychoanalyst, Entrepreneur, Writer, Speaker, Advocate
