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Six Ways Self-Defeating Humor Takes a Terrible Toll
Learn how to joke in ways which contribute to your health and well-being. Think twice before making a joke at your own expense, even if it is familiar and seems harmless. Accumulating research highlights the risks, and identifies few benefits.
Sense of humor is so key to our personalities. Humor is inherently social, signaling to others our views and beliefs, our “vibe”. Humor is a huge part of “chemistry” — but instant intimacy can backfire if we bond with someone who turns out to be a different person than we thought and we’re not prepared to break it off.
Four Types of Humor
Research finds four humor styles: affiliative, which brings people together; self-enhancing, which helps the individual manage and make sense of difficult circumstances; self-deprecating (self-defeating), making jokes at one’s own expense; and aggressive, making another person or entity the butt of the joke.
In general, affiliative and self-enhancing humor are more prosocial, associated with well-being and good relationships; while aggressive humor is generally neutral, or even associated with elevated social status (within one’s own…
