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Some Opportunities Only Sadness Can Offer
Late-night demon-wrestling sessions are rough, but can pay off.
Now the standard cure for one who is sunk is to consider those in actual destitution or physical suffering-this is an all-weather beatitude for gloom in general and fairly salutary day-time advice for everyone. But at three o’clock in the morning, a forgotten package has the same tragic importance as a death sentence, and the cure doesn’t work-and in a real dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning, day after day.
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
As a survivor of early childhood maternal loss-among other things-I’m no stranger to dark nights of the soul. Many’s the time I am awake in the very wee hours of the morning, flooded with a kaleidoscope of emotions, half- memories, anguish, impressions and other powerful and vivid, mentally distinct, yet cognitively indistinct experiences.
Over the years I’ve learned to embrace these times. They’ve gone from being the rule to being the exception. They’ve gone from being uncanny and terrifying to being opportunities for me to grow closer with myself, even surprising moments of intense joy and light. Night owls know that something special happens early in the morning, when it feels like the rest of the world is asleep and we have everything…
